As I finally found my feet in the Vineyard, I also found a home group I was happy with. Looking back, it became clear to me that I was always bothered by something in the way the groups were run. I tried not to think about it too much as I thought it was rude to even think about it. It wasn’t a big issue, but I found myself thinking of how I would facilitate a home group if it was my group. It was only many years later I understood where those thoughts came from.

 

One group I attended for a few years was a group I would call “a home group that ticked all the boxes.” But I soon realised that the perfect group doesn’t exist. As leaders, we all make mistakes, and we must learn from our mistakes. During the time we met together, I was one of four women without partners attending. The rest were couples, and we always prayed that God would add more people to our group. Then one evening our prayers were answered and two ladies decided to join us. One of them was a worship leader in the church, and she naturally brought her guitar with her, in case she was needed.

 

Our home group leader had worship planned for the evening. So, she decided to play along with him. I immediately sensed that he was not very happy. Nevertheless, we all experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit tangibly. My friend Naomi shared a picture she saw during worship. The picture was that of a solid clay pot, but she did not have an interpretation of it. Nobody knew the meaning of it. I left that night with the picture lying very heavy on my heart.

 

I also left with a deep disappointment in what I saw at the tea table. At the tea table were two others. I overheard my group leader making sarcastic remarks about the visiting worship leader. It was obvious that his nose was a bit out of joint. But I was more disturbed by the vision of the clay pot.

 

I had qualified a few years before as a Ceramist (Potter) and I knew that it was impossible to have a solid clay pot. With my knowledge of clay, I had a sense that the Lord wanted to give me the interpretation for this picture. As I began to pray, the interpretation came. I was shaken. I knew it was a stern warning from the Lord to our home group.

 

There were amazing similarities that unfolded before me as I sat writing. For instance, as a ceramist, the word ‘body’ is used and means the type of ‘clay’ you are working with. The church is called the 'body' of Christ. So, I knew God was comparing our home group to what the clay pot was made of. It is also interesting that the finest ‘body’ you can work with is porcelain. Although extremely difficult to work with, it is the finest. If you hold a well-made porcelain cup or bowl up against the light, it is almost translucent. You can see the light shining through. That is how our Father, the Potter who created us, wants us to be. There should be less of us (the body) and more of His Spirit in us, to shine through.

 

The picture we received of a solid pot was a big pot, shaped out of 'body.' It symbolized that there was too much of us and no space for the Lord to move inside that vessel. A stern warning came as I pondered the risks of putting a solid clay pot in the kiln to be fired. If a pot's wall is too thick, it will explode in the kiln. This will damage the kiln and the other vessels in it. The kiln, its fire bricks, the shelves, and the props are all very expensive. So are the elements. The force of a pot exploding will destroy absolutely everything.

I had to share this interpretation with the group. It had to be without any visitors and without naming names. I felt scared as I approached the group, not knowing how they would react. But I fear God more than anyone. I knew that, unless we repent and let God move in our home group, it would be destroyed. I also spoke from my heart and said that as a single woman, I have started to feel devalued and frequently made fun of. It's interesting that only the innocent couple apologized to the single women. The guilty party said, "Well, let's hope that God calls all single women to martyrdom." I thought there must be something wrong with my ears! Worse had been done to Jesus, so at least we were in good company.

 

The following week, we met as usual, and the new members attended again. In response to my take on the solid clay pot, the home group leader decided to create a strict schedule. It would set specific times for fellowship, worship, Bible teaching, and prayer. They even provided us with an exact timetable, down to the minute. One of the ladies immediately reacted, "And what about the Holy Spirit?" However, they asserted that there was still enough room for the Holy Spirit to move.

 

That night turned out to be one of the most difficult experiences I had ever faced in a home group. I felt a lack of God's Spirit. I couldn't believe it was the same group I had loved so much weeks earlier. I cherished my friendships in the group. But, I sought something deeper. I wanted to be part of a community that worshipped the highest God. I wanted to share that experience with others. I decided to leave the group, but Naomi encouraged me to give the leaders some time to process everything. She was incredibly wise, and I respected her judgement, so I decided to wait.

 

A week later, after church, Naomi and the other two ladies approached me. They decided to leave the group, too. They did not explain, and I didn’t ask for one. Within two weeks, the group had ceased to exist. Much later, that same couple attempted to start another group, but they were unable to get it off the ground.

This experience taught me a lesson. Control is dangerous. I must give it up, no matter the cost. It was a shame, as I had formed a deep connection with those people and loved them.