THE EASY YOKE
1993 was a tough time for me, but I had to trust in God. Little did I know then that God was about to turn my life around in a significant way; I had to hang in there.
I also encountered difficulties in the church and came close to leaving it. I had become quite complacent, not believing I had any enemies. It felt like I was going through my own 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness.
It was the Vineyard’s tenth-year celebration in Johannesburg. Costa asked weekly if anyone wanted to decorate the hall for the evening. They were planning a lamb and hog roast, along with a concert. When no one responded to Costa’s call, I finally offered to decorate the hall. I sat down with him and asked what he had in mind. Did he want it to have a natural feel, or could we go for a more modern vibe? He mentioned that he would like a natural atmosphere with grapevines and plants. I then asked our home group if they wanted to take this on as a project, and we began planning and producing.
At the same time, we had a meeting of home group leaders. We had to team up with the leader of a second group and prepare a 15-minute sketch with our combined group to present on stage that evening. It was up to us to pick an era and coordinate with the other group for practice. Unfortunately, the other home group's leaders were not at the meeting. The administrator had to contact them. I also reached out to the group leader, asking if they wanted to decide what we would do or if we should. They confirmed they would decide and let us know.
However, we never heard back from them. I figured they were most likely busy. We were working hard making paper mâché grapes for the decorations. I decided to contact them closer to the date. Finally I had the opportunity. I asked the home group leader from the other group about the program's progress and our rehearsal schedule.
I'll never forget the disdain on her face. She looked at me and said, "We don’t have time to meet and rehearse with your group, as well as preparing for the evening." Then, she turned and walked away.
Writing this is difficult because I struggled to express how I felt at that moment. I went home and cried. I was disappointed for my home group and for our church. I mourned for her Christian heart, which should resemble Jesus' heart. It’s no wonder some people want nothing to do with being a Christian or joining a church.
Eventually, I broke the news to our group, and I could see the disappointment in their eyes. What should have been a fun evening was now a heart-wrenching, discouraging moment for my home group and me.
I could only try and hide my disappointment. I urged everyone to focus on the hall decorations. The hall ended up looking beautiful. A Scout helped us get some large wooden beams. We tied them together with rope to build a lovely pergola leading to the hall. We filled it with paper grapes. We had three huge bunches of balloon grapes around the stage. We went to great lengths to find round balloons that resembled big purple grapes. We finished decorating at 2 pm., leaving enough time for us to go home and get ready for the evening.
Later, when I returned to the hall, Penny, one of our group members, was waiting for me in the parking area. As I opened the car door, she blocked me and said, “Leonie, don’t go in there. Whatever you do, do not go into the hall!” My heart started pounding as I approached the entrance.
The entrance looked exactly as we had left it, but the inside of the hall told a different story. Our natural décor now looked like a four year old's birthday party. Bright, cheap-coloured balloons filled the entire hall. A couple, who sat in the front row of the church every Sunday, had decided to scatter their cheap balloons around the hall after we finished decorating. They never responded to any of Costa’s calls for help every Sunday. It felt as if we had painted a beautiful artwork, only to have them come in with a bright pink spray can and destroy it.
I left early that night. I was so angry that I went home and cried my heart out. I realised I needed much more than Dr. Kroon’s prescription to renew my mind; I needed a renovation of my heart.
I never thought I would reach the point of turning my back on the church. For the next six weeks, I couldn’t find the motivation to attend. I couldn’t even look the people in the church in the eye. As a home group, we met weekly. They were the only people I could see, and I needed their support.
During this time, I started reading a long article in a Christian magazine about revival. I began to long for more of the supernatural and the movement of God’s Spirit like in the days of the Jesus Movement. There was none of the negativity between people in the church that I had experienced. During this time, I was spending time with God instead of going to church. It was then that I heard His loving voice again. It was a simple question: “Leonie, what did I ask you to do?”
That was a loaded question. I began to think of everything I did at church. I had tea duty once a month. It included taking all the cups home to wash. People often asked me to cover their Sunday night tea duty at church. I also helped with Communion and ran a home group. Also, we had to decorate the hall for our 10th anniversary and the concert we were to be part of. For a moment, I sat there wondering what I should have done. Yes! I should have confronted that couple and told them to remove their silly balloons.
STOP! What was the question again? “Leonie, what did I ask you to do?”
I broke down in tears. “Lord, you asked me to start a home group in my house.” That was it!
Matthew 11:30 says, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” This is what they call ‘burnout,’ and this is why. The only thing that still brought me peace and joy was the only thing He asked me to do: to start a home group. I had to ask for forgiveness for blaming Him for my stubbornness and disobedience. I needed to learn to say 'no.' When people asked me for help, I replied, "I'll pray about it and let you know." This was my new strategy.
However, they often wouldn't wait a few days for my answer. So, they would move on and ask the next person or take on their promised tasks. God loves us. He doesn't want to burden us with tasks. But, we must listen to Him about what to do. If God never asked you to take on a task, consider what is driving you to want to do it.
It was a relief for me to return to church again. My burden felt so much lighter.