We spent two days listening to excellent teachings on receiving and handling criticism. The material was so valuable that I took extensive notes. I was surprised that I forgot everything I had learned about the subject after facing criticism during our church planting years. As leaders in someone else's church, we never experienced this. But, when we became senior pastors, I was taken aback by the challenges we faced.

 

I remember Eleanor Mumford (John and Eleanor Mumford are the International Directors of the Vineyard) advising us at a workshop. She said that as pastors, we should prioritize creating a folder in our incoming emails called TNN (Take No Note). She suggested that we should drop any agendas or criticisms we receive by email into a TNN folder. She was right. These emails can drain, discourage, and hurt you. They waste your time, which could be better spent elsewhere.

 

When starting a new church, we wanted to reach new believers. We hoped they would want to sit in God's presence and worship Him. I recall a woman who regularly attended our church in the early years. She loved to join the worship. But, she wasn't a Christian. She was part of a self-realization meditation group. I appreciated her presence. She was in the right place for worship, that was what she needed at that moment. Abruptly, she stopped coming to church. As far as I can remember, she brought a friend with her one day. Maybe her friend told her the church is for Christians. Since she wasn't one, she felt she didn't belong. I hope she will always remember the joy of God's presence, the Holy Spirit, and a loving Christian community.

 

On the other hand, we met some who were never satisfied with their church. Whenever a new church emerged, they were there to test the boundaries. A tough challenge was dealing with people with their own agendas. Soon, their agendas clashed with ours. The Church Planting Boot-camp in England we attended, warned us about this before starting our church.

 

Conversations with these individuals were personal, and we had to maintain confidentiality. The churchgoers often missed what lay behind the sweet smiles of the well-composed folks they saw each week. When we had to take action on issues, some in the congregation reacted with hostility. They assumed the worst about us as pastors. Thankfully, some people trusted us. We were very grateful for them. Although they might not have understood our reasons at the time, they believed the best in us.

Beyond the TNN folder, turning to our loving Father is always the best action. At the start of our church plant, a man made a terrible, false accusation against us and one of our small group leaders. During the Boot-camp, they warned us that our authority could be challenged. Once the devil realises that a church is becoming a threat, we can expect attacks. We were caught off guard and we wasted too much time on this man's endless emails. In our final meeting with him, Hendrik and the small group leader were asked to leave his home. We tried to reason with him, but it was a waste of time. This experience taught us a valuable lesson—one we resolved not to repeat.

 

Years later, Hendrik and I walked into church one Sunday. We became wary of a new couple in attendance. We had a policy of not allowing newcomers to pray for people during ministry time. A well-known, beloved leader confided in us that after church, the new couple had approached him. The man spoke a very negative word over him. We instantly knew we had a problem on our hands.

 

We sent the newcomer our standard welcome email. We then asked him to clear any words he may have for individuals with us before sharing them. He responded that he understood our request.

 

However, the following week, he did it again with the same person. Upon returning home, I collapsed onto the sofa. I cried out to God in frustration. A thought entered my mind: "Tell him his beliefs don't align with Vineyard Churches." He needs to find a church that better matches his beliefs.” That was truly my Father’s voice. His power and wisdom can pierce through any confusion like a laser through stone.

Hendrik reached out to the man and told him that we were not theologically aligned, that it would be unfair for us to expect him to change, and vice versa. He would be much happier finding a church that agreed with him theologically. The newcomer replied in agreement, thanking us, and saying that they had enjoyed their brief time with us. That guidance from the Lord was invaluable. Praise Him!

 

Overall, making such a decision is challenging. Each case of troubled individuals in the church is unique. The only wise action is to seek guidance from our Father. He knows best. A year after we handed the church to our successors, they said: "When you shared certain issues as leaders, we didn't believe you and thought you had made a mistake." But now we understand. These things do happen.”