It was never easy for us. As I mentioned before, we were not the ‘poster couple’ of the church and I don’t think people expected anything great to come out of our lives. But we were in good company. Didn’t Nathanael say to Philip about Jesus: “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Unfortunately, as the world does, so often we find that same kind of judgement in the church. But we can rejoice that those people are in the minority.

 

The same night Hendrik called me to tell me he got the job; I was at a special church meeting with other people in the church. Jean Towell, a lovely Irish lady who knows all about our story of church planting, was pouring herself tea in the dining room where I joined her. She immediately noted the bewildered look on my face, and she asked me what was wrong. I hesitated for a moment and then told her Hendrik got the job. Jean in a typical Irish way, shrieked with gladness. Another gentleman, also pouring tea, asked what happened. Jean told him that Hendrik got the job in England, and we are finally getting on our way with our church planting plans. I will never forget this guy’s face as he looked down at me from behind his teacup and asked in such a condescending way, “Have you ever been to England?”

 

This is always the moment for me where I struggle not to sin, and at times the moment was too big not to hit back with a sarcastic remark. I am so grateful that God is gracious, and it is only with His affirmation and love that He teaches me to be more like Jesus. Did I fail? On this occasion, yes, I did, I am sad to say. I told him “No. Never been there.”

 

We had another couple in church telling us not to bother, that we were wasting our time and that it would never happen. We had an Irish gentleman (living in South Africa) asking us what we wanted to go to England for if there was so much work for Christians in South Africa to do, although that is a very valid question.

 

As South Africans, we become numb to what is going on around us and in so doing we can even become part of the problem. Moving to another country brings a fresh pair of eyes that see beyond what we started to accept as the norm. I remember sitting on a bench during one of my visits to England, watching people go by, and I felt overwhelmed by the state of the youth. They looked lifeless to me, with no emotions and no passion. Their eyes seemed expressionless.

I came to realise that England is a fatherless nation. War after war robbed the children in this country of their fathers, leaving the mothers to raise their children without fathers - to the extent that fathers believed that they were no longer needed in the upbringing of the child. In later years, when the mother needed support, the government intervened to assist them, and what began as a positive action ultimately led to deeper devastation. It even became a loophole for young teenage girls to fall pregnant and leave their parents’ homes, obtaining free accommodation. I see so many documentaries on English Television, of people looking for their families. When these children grow up, they look for their birth certificate to see who their father is, and only see a line drawn in the space the name should be.

 

I remember about six years later in England, Hendrik and I got involved in running an Inner healing course. There was a retired single gentleman who made it through the course and was one of those children. He was born during the war and grew up believing his mother was his sister and his grandmother was his mother. After the death of both these women in his life, his aunt told him the truth. I can imagine what he must have felt. He told us, he is so scared that he will one day die alone. Before we moved from London to Yeovil, he didn’t turn up at a Christmas carols service in town as he had a chest infection. On Saturday he didn’t turn up for a wedding either and on Sunday, his church friends asked the police to go with them to try and break through the door of his flat. They found him alone, dead in his bed. I worship a God of miracles, and I believe that the Lord was there to meet him.

 

I do, however, believe that the times are starting to change as science has proven how important the role of a father is in the upbringing of a child. But we are still left with the devastating effects it had on those children and the children’s children. Someone needs to break the cycle.